Your Child’s First Word: Freeze Ray!

Posted on July 8, 2009
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For obvious reasons, every parent thinks their child — and their child alone — is a friggin’ genius: “Little Tommy can read already.” “Peggy Sue is mastering multiplication.” And on, and on, and on, and on.

Here’s your chance to break the mold. Any parent can boast that their child’s a genius, but what about a MAD GENIUS?! With the Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks, Junior’s first words will be “B is for Bioengineering,” “U is for Underground lair,” “T is for Tentacles,” or my favorite “K is for Potassium.” (If you don’t get that one, your kid probably doesn’t have genius in the cards for him.)

This set of five handmade blocks is now available at ThinkGeek.com for just $39.99 with $5.39 for shipping. Each block has smooth, rounded edges, no harmful dyes or chemicals, and most importantly, hand-carved depictions of what will hopefully be the ‘building blocks’ (again, if you don’t get it…) for your son or daughter’s unethically experimental future.

Tetris Soap Set $10

Posted on May 21, 2009
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Sometimes I look down at my bar of Dove or Zest and say to no one in particular, “these bars of soap share absolutely no resemblance to the infamous pieces of the most-played video game of all time.” Occasionally I’ll think, “well, these get me clean, but I want something that inspires visions of Tetris inventor Alexey Pajitnov as he labored away on the greatest game of all time at the Dorodnicyn Computing Centre of the Academy of Sciences of the USSR.”

Well, someone must have been reading my diary because this Tetris Soap Set is now available at Digital Soaps for just $10. This set weighs over eight ounces, is made with a blend of glycerin and olive oil soaps, and is scented with berry fruit fragrance oil. Shipping adds $5. Don’t forget to hum this tune as you clean up.

Sex Panther Cologne $35

Posted on May 8, 2009
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It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils…In a good way.

What else could possibly be said about Sex Panther that wasn’t already by Ron Burgundy and colleague Brian Fantana in the instant-classic Anchorman?

It’s illegal in nine countries…They’ve done studies, you know: 60% of the time it works, every time.

Well, someone went ahead and bottled their own version of the panther, and unlike in the film, this one does not smell like pure gasoline. According to Firebox.com it smells like desire, and they have 1.7 oz. bottles of Sex Panther Cologne on sale for only $34.95 plus $7.95 shipping.

Chh-Chh-Chh-Obama $18.99

Posted on May 7, 2009
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Sometimes an idea is so bad, it starts to sound good. Look at the Flowbee, Lawn Darts, the Pet Rock, New Coke, Steven Seagal’s Energy Drink, or America Online. I’m guessing that’s what we’re dealing with here.

Riding an awfully fine line separating taste from vulgarity, Chia has just released Chia Barack Obama and is only asking $18.99 at Amazon! Because, when all else fails, attach Barack Obama’s name to it and maybe you can cash in on someone else’s wave of popularity one more time. Available with either the pictured “determined” expression or with a “happy” expression, this kit includes the ceramic planter, seed packet for three plantings, convenient plastic drip tray, and instruction sheet. Shipping is free with a $25 purchase.

Reboot Your Couch $55

Posted on April 15, 2009
Filed Under Dorky Gifts, Funny Tech Gifts, deals | 1 Comment

Given that it is suddenly considered fashionable to put an Apple sticker just about everywhere (it’s still a corporate logo, isn’t it?), PC users need to fight back. How do they do that? With weird television commercials starring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates? No!

Show the world that you are a stiff, pencil-pushing, uncreative Windows user with the three most famous keys from the ubiquitous PC keyboard displayed across your couch!

Etsy.com has this CTRL - ALT - DEL Pillow Set on sale for only $55. Shipping adds $10. There’s also an interesting rumor going around: if you whack your kids with these pillows in the correct order, they allegedly restart their homework.

Rear-View Computer Mirror $12

Posted on April 13, 2009
Filed Under Dorky Gifts, Funny Tech Gifts, deals | 1 Comment

We here at the StrangeDeals offices are like any other nine-to-five drones in the outside world: we sit in dingy cubicles, we try and figure out ways to sleep while looking as though we’re working, we curse the buzzing florescent lights that we’re sure are taking years off our lives, and of course, we screw around on the internet.

Whether you’re Twittering, reading the gossip rags, rifling through files that aren’t for your eyes, updating your Facebook status with the excruciating minutiae of your life, or looking at something, ahem, more lascivious, you’ll want to pick up the Rear-View Computer Mirror at SpoonSisters.com for just $11.95. This plastic mirror attaches to your computer with velcro and comes in a variety of colors. Shipping adds $6.50.

Have a Strange Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 9, 2009
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Valentine’s Day is a contentious holiday: lovers love it and haters hate it. But, no matter where you stand on Cupid and his fickle arrows, we can agree that Valentine’s Day could always be a bit stranger. We’ve put together a nice little list of hilarious and bizarre Valentine’s Day gifts from Baron Bob’s just in time for the festivities (or lack there of).

Save your breath with the Control Your Man and Woman Talking Remote Controls for $19.95. These talking remotes utter spousal faves like “the queen speaketh,” “all right, hand over the credit cards,” and “whoa, ever hear of foreplay?”

Live out your childhood fantasy of transforming a disgusting amphibian into a heroic prince with the Magic Frog to Prince for $4.95. Just drop the frog into cold water and watch as he turns into the wealthy, cool, and aloof man of your dreams.

Rats! Love Rats! While pestilence is a supposed sign of the impending apocalypse, it’s hard to turn away from these pictured precious vermin, priced at just $4.95 each.

And of course, what Valentine’s Day would be complete without the classic Inflatable Spouse. Priced at just $8.95 each, these plastic alternatives will never cheat on you, overdraw your checking account, or get fat. Of course, conversation will likely be kept to a minimum (I’ve heard that’s often thought of as preferable).

Shipping is free with a $59 purchase and there’s a free wacky gift with every $20 purchase.

The Bacon of the Month Club from $12.50!

Posted on October 24, 2008
Filed Under Funny Food Gifts, deals | 9 Comments

Benjamin Franklin once quipped, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” We here at Strange Deals (and we don’t think we’re alone on this) think the same thing could be said about bacon. Morning, day, and night, bacon is the perfect accent to any meal. Omelets? They need bacon. Baked Potato? Get some bacon in there. Sandwich? Put bacon on it. Melon? Better when it’s wrapped in bacon.

Well, if you concur, don’t hesitate in joining Grateful Palate’s Bacon of the Month Club! Not only will you get a delicious, new artisan bacon delivered to your door every month, but you’ll also receive a bacon-inspired t-shirt, ballpoint pen, toy pig, as well as a monthly recipe and comic strip. Get one package delivered each month for just $150 ($12.50 per month) or two for $225 ($18.75 per month).

Chocobama and Sugarcain

Posted on October 22, 2008
Filed Under Funny Food Gifts, Political Gag Gifts, deals | 1 Comment

With the 2008 presidential election drawing to a bitter end, some folks want to sweeten things up. How though? More attack ads? Deceptive mailers? Robo calls? Celebrity endorsements? No! Sweeten things up with Chocobama and Sugar-Cane.

Handmade in the Netherlands, Chocobama and Sugar-Cane are crafted from fine Belgian chocolate. Choose from either dark, milk, or white chocolate ranging in price from $25.64 to $38.47 (converted from the Euro).

Pop Your Cork with the Bill Clinton Corkscrew

Posted on October 1, 2008
Filed Under Political Gag Gifts, deals | 2 Comments

For some folks, spending an evening in with a nice bottle of wine can be a little too romantic and tasteful. Never fear: there’s always something out there that lets your friends and family know, ‘yeah, I’m not above that type of humor.’ Enter the Bill Clinton Corkscrew.

Conjuring up puns like ‘Getting Beaujolaid,’ ‘Pinot Envy,’ and ‘Merlot Down, Dirty Shame,’ this novelty corkscrew is now at Overstock for $29.99. Or, pair it with the ever popular Hillary Nutcracker in the Billary Clinton Kitchen Tool Combo Set for $54.99. Shipping adds $2.95 with no sales tax (except UT).

And, as we are equal-opportunity offenders, also be sure to check out the Bush Countdown Clock (not much longer now) and the bi-partisan Political Firestarters.

The Jack Potty Chair, a One-Armed Potty-Training Bandit $33

Posted on September 10, 2008
Filed Under Kids and Baby, Toilet Gifts, deals | 13 Comments

Are you excited to finally have your child potty trained, only to discover they didn’t learn anything about the art of casino gambling? Well, before you break out the children’s books on baccarat and Sesame Street DVDs where the Count teaches when to double down, consider the Jack Potty Chair!

Providing a fun and interactive potty training experience, the Jack Potty Chair has built-in sensors, which reward your child’s ’success’ with lights, sounds, and spinning shapes. They can also trigger the bells and whistles with a simple pull on the chair’s arm, preparing them for later in life, when real slot machines only net them crap.

The Jack Potty Chair is currently available at Overstock for just $33.49. Shipping adds $2.95 with no sales tax

En Garde, Delicious Meats!

Posted on September 8, 2008
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For centuries the battle has raged: meat versus man, man versus meat, with nary a truce on the horizon. Now young grilling squire, it is your moment to take up arms against the Polish, the Italian, the Chorizo, and the cunning German sausages, as well as steaks, chickens, and seafood of all variety. I, Edmond Dantes, command you to raise the steel of your BBQ Sword!

Oh, you don’t have one? Well, Firebox.com has the stainless steel BBQ Sword on sale for just $29.95. It even comes with the pictured cut-out mask, in case you care to keep your identity secret (from your neighbors) while using this graceful, but deadly instrument. Shipping adds $7.95, but there’s no tax (except PA).

Sonic Boom Alarm Clock $35

Posted on August 13, 2008
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Zzzz…Zzzz…Zzzz…SONIC BOOM!

Are you a deep sleeper? Have you ever overslept and missed something incredibly important? Did it haunt you, preventing you from sleeping restfully for months? Maybe you need to take some drastic measures.

While it might cause some new stresses in your life, you’ll never have to worry about oversleeping again with the Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock! This morning menace will blast you out of bed with up to 113 decibels of volume and an included vibrating bed shaker to position under your mattress (113 decibels is the max volume and it’s not recommended; it’s around the same volume as a jackhammer). ThinkGeek currently has it for $39.99, before $5 off $25 coupon code 8EBB (expires 9/30) lowers it to $34.99. Shipping adds $8.95.

Who Brings a Gun to a Wedding?

Posted on August 1, 2008
Filed Under White Trash Gifts, deals | 4 Comments

Like it or not, weddings can be crazy affairs. Whether you’re meeting former frat brothers, drunken uncles, or jealous sisters, you never really know what to expect.

One thing you can count on, however, is that if you see one of these Wedding Cake Toppers adorning the cake, someone in attendance probably has a shotgun in their car (quite possibly the bride or groom), and may want to kick off the reception with a bang.

These Wedding Cake Decorations for the avid sportsman or sportswoman are now available at APicturePerfectWedding.com for $75. Choose between deer hunter, goose hunter, duck hunter (pictured), or plain-old hunter, in either white or ivory. Plus, you can add hunting hats and camouflage (and really, why wouldn’t you?) for just $10 each, as well as put a gun in the bride’s hands for $8 (it’s her wedding too, she deserves it). Shipping adds $13.99.

Tour Chernobyl and Live (Hopefully) to Tell $538

Posted on July 30, 2008
Filed Under deals | 3 Comments

If you need a gift for the “person who has everything” and really want to “blow them away,” boy do we have the right gift for you.

Get them a trip to the site of the worst environmental disaster in recorded human history, Chernobyl! SAM Travel now offers tours of the infamous Ukrainian nuclear plant that experienced a meltdown of enormous proportions over 20 years ago. On the tour, you’ll be escorted from Kiev to the descending zones surrounding Chernobyl: the exclusion zone, the estrangement zone, and the 10km zone directly outside of the plant. You’ll also get to see surrounding ghost towns, the so-called Red Forest (which changed color after the accident), and more.

SAM Travel offers these 10-hour Chernobyl tours (with both English and Russian-speaking tour guides) at descending price points based on the size of your party: one person for $538, two for $280 per traveler, three is $213 per traveler, four is $165 per person, etc. The tour includes lunch.  Let’s hope three-eyed fish is not the special of the day.

Nintendo Wall Graphics $65

Posted on July 24, 2008
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When you walk into any given room in your home, what does it say? Does it say artsy? Craftsy? Messy? Creepy? I’m guessing it doesn’t say nerdy, at least not until you get some of these Nintendo Wall Graphics. Featuring piranha plants, coins, mushrooms, Koopa Troopas, Starmen, and those famous Italian plumbers, the set includes everything you’ll need to let guests know you spent your childhood, and perhaps most of college, indoors.

These are currently available at ThinkGeek.com for $74.99, before $10 off $50 coupon code 8EBB lowers that price to $64.99. There are three sets available: Classic Super Mario Bros. (pictured), Donkey Kong, or New Mario Bros. Each set includes three 26′ x 40′ sheets of restickable vinyl decals. Shipping starts around $9.

The Flaming Footbag $25

Posted on July 10, 2008
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Remember that old Saturday Night Live skit where Dan Akroyd plays a sleazy toy manufacturer? He sold products like Johnny Switchblade, Bag O’ Glass, and Halloween costumes like The Human Torch and The Invisible Pedestrian to unsuspecting children. Well, this is kind of like that.

The Flaming Footbag is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a hacky sack made of Kevlar armor which you then soak in kerosene, light on fire, and kick around with your pals. Freedom Footbags has them for $24.99 each (shipping adds $4 more). Be sure to check out the demonstration here. Oh, and be careful, too.

Pick Your Nose Party Cups $8

Posted on June 11, 2008
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Ever read Cyrano de Bergerac? Ever seen Roxanne? A poetically gifted man with a nose the size of a battleship helps a much dimmer, though better-looking man woo the very same woman with whom he is in love. Eventually, he confesses his own love and they live happily ever after. Sound absurd? It is. It really couldn’t happen in real life, but that shouldn’t stop us from reenacting it at every party!

X-Treme Geek now has these Pick Your Nose Party Cups on sale for only $7.99, plus around $7 shipping. Each package comes with 24 disposable cups featuring 12 different noses. While not all of them are Cyrano sized, all of them offer the possibility to briefly step into a new face without rhinoplasty and say, ‘who nose?’

“Hand” Soap Set $17

Posted on May 31, 2008
Filed Under deals | 4 Comments

Decorative soaps can often be a nice touch to any bathroom. Even if only esteemed guests are allowed to use them, they add a classic aesthetic quality to any restroom. Of course, then again, someone can always take a classic and turn it downright freaky. From the chillingly creepy file, StrangeDeals brings you this “Hand” Soap Set.

The lightly scented soaps, made from goat’s milk and vegetable glycerin, appear to resemble doll hands (perhaps even children’s hands), which can certainly add a distinct accent to your loo. They come in a decorative bag in sets of at least 10 individual soaps.

Foliage currently has this set on sale for only $17. Shipping adds $4. Everyone, give yourselves a hand for reading this entire post!

Rolling Stones Ice Cube Tray $10

Posted on May 29, 2008
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Are you looking for a renewed sense of Satisfaction with your chilled beverages? Are standard square cubes becoming your Beast of Burden? Does the monotony of run-of-the-mill ice have you calling out “Gimme Shelter?” Well, don’t wait for your 19th Nervous Breakdown and don’t leave it to the Tumbling Dice, just fix yourself up with one of these Rolling Stones Ice Cube Trays.

Available direct from The Rolling Stones Official Store, these trays are just $10 each. Featuring the signature Stones tongue, these make eight ice cubes each. Shipping starts, creepily, at $6.66.

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